First, if you haven't watch THIS yet, watch it now. In order to understand what I'm about to write, you need to watch it.
I went to go get my nails done today because...well, I felt like it. That, and tonight is Shon's company holiday party. So I head to, really, the only nail salon in Rosslyn. I didn't have super high expectations because it's kind of in a run-down building, they've got linoleum tile floors that are cracked and peeling up, and there are only 3 employees total. (And yes, they're all vietnamese. I have NO issues with any person of any other race...it just seems to always be vietnamese people working in nail salons.)
So I walk in, and I'm greeted by a male employee. "HI How-a you?" Inside, I'm thinking PLEASE don't be my manicurist. PLEASE. Of course, he is. Number 1 problem. Male Manicurist.
I sit down, and he goes to work on my nails. I think to myself, ok...let's not let any preconceived notions about this guy ruin this for you, Katherine.
He asks me, in no uncertain words, "Long or short nayuw? (Do you want long or short nails?)" I said short please. Very short. Of course, he doesn't cut them nearly short enough. I need nails super short because I'm a pretty active person, and long nails just simply get in the way. I have yet to find a person that gets this right.
He tries to have a conversation with me, but realizes his efforts are futile because I clearly do not understand a word he is saying.
So then he's ready to fill in the nails. NO JOKE...He says, "You want krituhl jail? (Do you want Crystal Gel?)" And, not even trying to be funny, I LITERALLY didn't understand him the first time, and said, "Huh?" Then I figured it out, and I about peed my pants laughing.
I mean honestly, this experience couldn't have followed the above video any closer.
He's about finished with my nails and asks if I want polish or buff. I said is there a price difference? He said, "Yes, fi dolla mo fo polih" (Yes, it's five dollars more for polish.)
UGH! I mean, I understand times are tough, but since WHEN has a daggone nail salon charged for nail polish? Whatever, I know I've got some clear polish back in my bag at work, so I said "Whatever's cheaper."
So I'm paying the bill, and he looks at me and says, "I throw in the bupp fo fee. But ony fo you" (I threw in the buff for free. But only for you.) Thanks, thanks so much for not finishing your job, just for me.
So all in all, it was a comedic experience, but I for sure won't go back there again.
